After having gone to therapy today, I learned something/came to understand something that I've probably known on some level for a while now. Not only have I been sexually abused once when I was 8 years old, I've been abused as an adult. No names, no identifying details-I'm not ready to let so many people know about that.
All I will say is that it is just mind-blowing to me that after having been abused once, I could let it happen to myself again. And this time, I could've stopped it. I could've walked away and stayed away from the situation this time, but I didn't. It's like I CHOSE to be abused again, I CHOSE to be "damaged" even more. I CHOSE to stick with what was familiar to me-men that treat me the wrong way, take advantage of me and make me do things that I never would've otherwise.
While all of this is extremely painful to work through, admit and realize...it's a little bit relieving to have it all out in the open and not totally kept to myself.
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