Forgiveness

In the past few days, I've been really focusing on this Bible passage which comes from the book of Sirach:

CHAPTER 28
The vengeful will face the Lord’s vengeance;
indeed he remembers their sins in detail.
Forgive your neighbor the wrong done to you;
then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven.
Does anyone nourish anger against another
and expect healing from the LORD?
Can one refuse mercy to a sinner like oneself,
yet seek pardon for one’s own sins?
If a mere mortal cherishes wrath,
who will forgive his sins?

I want so much to be healed from all of this evil that has been done to me, and all the evil and horrible things that have resulted because of them. It is not enough for me anymore to just feel bad that it happened and try and move on. I am finally facing the truth in what has happened to me, and in doing so I've also realized that there is a lot of healing to be done if I am going to truly move on.
This passage is so true; how can I expect God to help me heal from these happenings if I don't forgive the persons that are responsible for them? How am I supposed to seek mercy and forgiveness from Him if I don't show mercy and forgiveness to those who are responsible?
"Hate the sin, love the sinner." The concept is easy to understand and adapt...until you are referring to situations like the ones I've been in. How am I just supposed to hate the fact that I was abused and raped but to still "love" the abusers? How am I supposed to consider and treat these men as if they are God's children when they have done nothing but go against His word?
The problem is, there really is no answer to my questions. How am I supposed to forgive them knowing they aren't sorry for what they did? I just am. I am supposed to forgive them either way, whether they are sorry or not. I am supposed to do it for ME, not for them. In order to do so, it will take a lot of prayer and faith; I can tell you right now that having just started therapy and just started talking about all of this, I don't want to do anything but get angry and be angry at these men.
But really? Do they deserve the ability to take any more of my life away then they already have? I've spent so much time and energy on the abuse and rapes, and "relationships" that were involved, and so much time and energy on the repercussions of both that I really don't even have the energy to dwell on my anger anymore. I'm SO DONE with letting them control my life-even if it is unknown to them.
I refuse to let them "WIN", I refuse to let the Devil have his way. I refuse to let these past occurrences poison my life and my future anymore. So, I am praying for God to help me learn how to forgive these men for what they did. And also, to forgive myself for the blame I take.