Why Is It So Hard to Be Good To Yourself?

"You're your own worst critic."
Amen.
I'm harder on myself than anyone else in this world is on me. I constantly require so much from myself in physical, mental and emotional senses and never ever cut myself a break...it's literally starting to wear me down.
"What do you do for fun Sarah?"
I have no answer for that right now. I don't know anymore what I do for fun. It used to be that I would go to the gym and get a healthy workout in, and that would be fun. I used to be able to say that I read books, wrote poetry, hung out with friends for fun-but I don't do those things anymore. I'm sure a lot of it has to do with having so many things that I need to work through-and not wanting to go out and enjoy life until those things have been worked through.
"Why do you think taking a day off and not worrying about anything or being on the go constantly is being lazy?"
I feel like if I'm not constantly on the go, if I'm not out running around doing things during the day and if I'm just sitting around at home, I feel like I'm being lazy and I feel like there's something wrong with me, like I'm sick. I feel guilt in not doing anything unless I'm sick.
My challenge from therapy today was to do just that, to just relax today and not feel guilt for relaxing. It's been nice, but I've also had a lot of guilt in not getting up and doing things today. I feel like I'm wasting time, I feel like there's so many things I need to do and by not getting up and doing them, I'm allowing myself to sit around and gain weight.
It's a constant struggle to be at war with yourself and to fight every thought and desire you have gotten so used to. But I'm trying to. And today my war is with being hard on myself. I'm trying to cut myself a break like I deserve.
For a little inspiration, a song:

Hopefully the rest of the day will be good.